So, my last post brought up some interesting conversation….mostly from
The starting point for all of my questions I ask in my head is: How is this going to glorify God?
You may or may not think that is an important starting point, but I believe that the point of life is worship, and I have biblical basis for that. And the point of worship is to glorify God. I’ve actually really enjoyed this atitude of John Piper and how he describes the idea of “Christian Hedonism”, which is best defined by his websites first sentence in the “about us” page.
Desiring God (DG) exists to proclaim this truth: God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.
Currently I have been less than satisfied with God. That has many many facets that could be explored as to why I’m not satisified, but the one that is important is this:
My interaction with God feels very one-sided compared to what others experience around me, and what the Bible states the saints of the past experienced.
My road to improve this situation has many parts. My last post assumed I’m trying my damnedest to do my parts where I can. That means, I’m trying to read my Bible every day, pray constantly (which includes listening for God’s voice, not just talking…that is important), I’m trying to alleviate the places where I sin in my life, etc.
This leads to one of my other desires. The more I do those things, the more I see how much God is glorified when the Kingdom advances. Or in other words, God is glorified when other people start to worship him. I want them to start worshiping him because they see how satisified I am while trying to worship him. Well, now we have a conflict…a circular one at that, because I’m not that satisified at the moment. I have been satisified in the past, but I’m growing and learning about God, and I want more.
I want to see the Kingdom going forward. I want to see the miraculous, I want to see people saved, I want to see others glorify God. I didn’t come here to plant a church to get bored, or weighted down w/ politics and logisitcs (although I do enjoy those aspects of church life from time to time). I came here to help other people experience the joy that I see people around me experience.
So, what does that say about my effort?
Well, I think my effort really isn’t worth much when compared to what God can exert in terms of effort. But, he is glorified when I exert effort to move closer to him, and to bring others to him, so I don’t stop working and just sit on my ass.
If I just try to claw really hard at this hurdle, I don’t think I can get to the top of it. It isn’t about my attitude, or my laziness. It is more about my past experience, which tells me that sometimes, you hit points where you reach a road block and you have three choices:
1. Try your damnedest to get over it by yourself. This is a decent option, and should be explored sometimes. I’ll tell you the criteria for when this is a good option in number 3.
2. Walk away, avoid the barrier, and try something different. This I like to call “quitting when the quitting is good.” In otherword…say you became an engineering student, and figured out you don’t like calculus. You should quit. That is a good idea. But sometimes we’re lazy, and don’t know what to do, so we pick this option when we should pick 1 or 3.
3. God lifts us over the hurdle. This option comes in two flavors. But both of these flavors are only possible after a lot….and I mean a lot of prayer.
a) We encounter something hard, God wants us to endure it, to improve our character in some way. So we press into him and hope that the problem goes away….and sometimes it does, and it is wonderful, and we learn a lot about ourselves in how God chooses to deal w/ that situation for us.
b) There is a different hurdle God wants us to deal with, that is causing this big hurdle to block our path. This one I imagine as a plate of glass, with a structural weak point. You tap with the right pressure / force on the weak point and the whole thing shatters. But God has to show us the weak point (sometimes), otherwise we don’t know what we are really looking at, and we end up at 1 or 2 inappropriately. This option is also pretty hard though, cuz often that weak spot in the glass is something very painful for us, and this huge hurdle has grown up around it, to keep us from feeling that pain.
All of these options are valid in different situations, but the more you work at identifying which one is the one to pick the better you get at it. So now I see a place where I feel blocked off, trapped, and I’m doing my best to do what is right and what I need to do. But until God tells me to do something different, or shows me the weak spot in the glass I feel somewhat at a dead end. So I wait, I do the things I can to grow myself, to improve where I see areas that need to be improved, and I wait some more. But I’m generally impatient, so waiting is frustrating for me, hence my post yesterday.
Sometimes Christians use the term “God’s Will” as an excuse to be lazy, and not do something hard. To the contrary, I want that hard thing to do, I want to know what it is next that I’m susposed to do. Should I quit my job w/o getting another one first? Should I start freelance web design (which I can’t very well do if I feel creatively stumped)? I’ve already started looking into that stuff. Should I live off of my wifes loans she is going to get for school and go volunteer my EE / CS abilities at charitable organizations for the next four years?
I could keep questioning like that forever. Instead, I see what I like doing, which changes frequently, and I try to enjoy that thing. I continue doing things that I feel are glorifying to God, and I ask him what the next step is to give him greater glory. If I just put my nose down and work really freaking hard at something right now, I’m reasonably sure it wouldn’t be the right thing. Sometimes you start doing something thinking it is the right thing, and you get that sinking feeling that it isn’t half way into it. Well, that is what I’m trying to avoid, and I’m getting better at predicting that kind of thing in advance, and I see that here. So I wait.
Well, that was long, but I hope it helped give some insight into some of my approach to the last post I wrote. I also had something to say about
Too many Christians get caught up in ignoring their senses. They try to suppress, and only read the bible, or only think that one way of worship is right, or whatever. Do like Dink said and go touch something that makes you feel good. It isn’t a bad idea, and it pushes your senses.
But, too many artists rely on this as their only means of being creative. This is why the people we consider good artists (writers, poets, illustrators, etc) are either alcoholics, or drugged out all the time. You reach a point where you feel like you have experienced the end of what your unaltered brain can experience on a sense (or sensual, fi that is a better word for it?) level, so you seek to agument the reality around you to experience new things.
I don’t think that is a great idea. So go do something fun, explore the senses God gave you, and tap that into your emotions…that can be powerful. Dink reminded me that I love to do that, and haven’t in a while. Which means on this beautiful weekend I’ll probably wonder around some of the beautiful river-side parks, or eat something I love…or have sex like 800 times.
You get the point.
But, don’t get addicted to sensations. That is not good. Just like getting addicted to the warm-fuzzies of worship-highs isn’t good, because then you are focused on the feeling, and how something makes you feel. You aren’t trying to share with others the greatness of how you feel, you are just feeling to feel. I have some other feelings to share on this, but that is good for now. Thanks Dink for that insight. I wish I could express to you how I feel when I’m close to God in a way that would make you understand why I think like I do.
In other notes, I had a bit of a snap yesterday in my creativity block. I came up with this really neat urban theme. Our church is dedicated to being mult-ethnic, and urban….so why should we have a fancy looking suburban look to our website. Instead I’m thinking something very graffiti w/ concrete around it….maybe even a rose growing up from a crack in it (I love that imagery that Tupac creates in that poem).
So, thanks for all those responses yesterday…you are all great. Feel free to discuss what I’m talking about here.
Zane Anderson says
True, Big Cat, there is no shortage of laziness in the church. Ditto for mediocrity…
From the book ADDICTED TO MEDIOCRITY by Franky Shaeffer
Unfortunately, today we are in a very different position than that of Giorgio Vasari as he stood at the end of the High Renaissance. He could look back with admiration and wonder at the achievements of his fellow artists in that day and age, and also cast his eyes northward from Italy to the great explosion of creativity (beginning with people like Albrecht Durer) in the Flemish, Dutch and German parts of the world.
Today, as a Christian with a practical interest in the arts, creativity, and human endeavor in this field, as I look around I see a very different picture. Contrast in your mind the reality of a few centuries ago, the Giotto’s, the Rembrandt’s, the Bach’s, the Handel’s, the Vermeer’s, the van Eyck’s, with the present-day reality.
Today, Christian endeavor in the arts is typified by the contents of your local Christian bookstore-accessories-paraphernalia shop. For the coffee table we have a set of praying hands made out of some sort of pressed muck. Christian posters are ready to adorn your walls with suitable Christian graffiti to sanctify them and make them a justifiable expense. Perhaps a little plastic cube with a mustard seed entombed within to boost your understanding of faith. And as if this were not enough, a toothbrush with a Bible verse stamped on its plastic handle. And a comb with a Christian slogan or two impressed on it. On a flimsy rack are stacked a pile of records. You may choose them at random blindfolded, for most of them will be the same idle rehash of acceptable spiritual slogans, endlessly recycled as pablum for the tone-deaf, television-softened brains of our present-day Christians.
The airwaves as you leave the shop are jammed with a choice avalanche of what can generally be summed up as rubbish, ready to clog your television and radio set with ÒChristianÓ programming. The publishing houses churn out (measured by the ton) a landslide of material which can scarcely be called books, often composed of the same themes which are viewed as spiritual, rehashed endlessly by writers who would be better employed in another trade.
In fact, without making the list endless, one could sum it up by saying that the modern Christian world and what is known as evangelicalism in general is marked, in the area of the arts and cultural endeavor, by one outstanding feature, and that is its addiction to mediocrity.
This has borne bitter bitter fruitÑby the stifling and destroying of God-given creative instincts in individuals, the false guilt feelings of those with creative talents given by God when trying to exercise those talents in a church which looks at them askance as somehow dabbling in an unspiritual sphere of life. This has produced the unhappy lack of enjoyment of the world around us, GodÕs creativity, manÕs creativity, and the fullness of what we are supposedly redeemed to in Christ, and of course the bitter fruit of having contributed heavily through this unhappy view of the arts to the erosion of the Christian consensus.
Any group that willingly or unconsciously sidesteps creativity and human expression gives up their effective role in the society in which they live. In Christian terms, their ability to be the salt of that society is greatly diminished.