I have a couple of topics I think I want to post on, but I don’t know if they are worth two posts, or just one. For now I will start on the first and see what comes later.
Well at the wedding I felt like everything was flying by. Almost unreal how everything looked and happened. It was difficult to tell what was happening and who was doing what. Then that night when things slowed down a little things still seemed like a dream. Amazing sex that night, followed by and interrupting a relaxing sleep, then the nice lady who ran the B and B brought up breakfast. But it all seemed like life was being filmed with one of those hazy filters, everything seemed as if it were a dream. Could it be that finally I was married and living out the ideals and fantasies I have been running in my head for so long? Could it be that our sex life was going to be better than I had imagined it? What a dream I seemed to live in.
One week later things have barely calmed down, life still seems a little like a dream….especially after we share any really intimate moment (not just sex). Things are starting to seem a little more like real life, I’m settling into the fact that I am in fact a married man. The ring isn’t bothering my finger as much. I had my hand out the window of the car yesterday and I felt like the ring wasn’t even there anymore because I’m actually getting used to it. It is weird to be married, it is odd to be getting used to sleeping with someone, it is wild to believe I can have guilt free sex whenever we want.
I walked past my parents fridge last night and noticed a picture about eye high. The picture has been there for a long time, and I have noticed it before, but not really thought about it. This time I noticed it and something struck me. The picture is of my mother’s best friend who is now dead. She died in November because of Carle’s negligence. I was a pall barer. It hurt a lot to be at that funeral. We were all close to her. When I looked at that picture I saw a dead friend, and it didn’t hurt as much, not hardly at all in fact. I did see a friend I miss a lot, but I walked by with only a slight twinge of pain.
Am I getting used to being married the same way I’m getting used to knowing that my friend is dead? I figure it is a similar process. The problem is that in getting used to something we often loose our passion for that. I have a goal to be as passionate as possible about my marriage, and to not just settle into being married. Yes, I understand how difficult this is, and I know I am probably being naïve in guessing that I can continue this intensity in my relationship, but I would like to try.
Anyway, enough of that, I’ve posted a little about being married, and how much I like it. I’ve made my seemingly “profound” statement. So instead of posting a lot about how much I like sex, like I was thinking about doing, I will say this: I’m totally open to talking about sex. I’ll talk about it in public, I don’t care if people don’t like it, I’ll talk about it online, and I’ll answer any honest questions people have, so feel free to ask. The only thing I will do to censor myself is let Lauren read my stuff so I’m not saying anything that she doesn’t like.
I’m done now.
Eleanor says
I felt the same way about marriage – the day flew by, as did the honeymoon, and even weeks later it was hard to get in my head that I was married. 🙂 I think we’re still getting used to it, although we’ve passed the 2 month mark now.
Siberian says
Lay on, Macduff.
You get used to rings soon enough… Just try to remember them every now and then.
Rob says
Getting used to stuff is just part of life. There’s an entire school of thought that believes that you never really get past some things, you just learn to accept them and live with them.
That’s pretty much the way it’s been with me and my grandma’s death. It sucks, and I don’t like it, but I’m just learning to live with that little twinge of pain every time I think about her.
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In other news, I have guilt free sex whenever I want too. It merely takes a certain…shall we say…amoral attitude.
Dink says
Hmmmmmm, the other night I had a friend of mine tell me that he wanted to settle down and start a family. Wierd thing is that this is the guy who is 22 years old and has never even kissed a girl ever. Soo naturally I told him to go to the vinyard and go to church there since about 50% of the people I know there are about his age and hitched now. haha
Anywho, once again congrats on the marriage thing. I couldn’t handle it honestly. I’d have to schedule and make plans before I did stuff and that would suck ass. Anywho, I’m glad you found someone to make you happy and to Lauren vise versa. Remember…perfect honey moon spot is Galva, Illinois!
Dink says
BS—-oooo and sex ridden with guilt is only a problem if you aren’t shallow! Speaking of guilt, I’m renting the Passion tonight and maybe the companion tape I found about how it “dramatically changed peoples lives” (mostly to laugh at the companion tape). Man I wish I had come up with this money making scheme!